Knowing, trusting, and becoming content in God does not happen overnight or in the early years of our decisions to walk closely with Him. We have been through years of torment, pain, struggles, disappointments, trauma, etc. Things won’t be ‘roses and chirpy birds’ instantly. It will take time to heal, for minds and hearts to be changed, and for our spirits/ souls to find rest.
Don’t compare yourself to others due to where you are in your walk. Don’t feel less of a believer because your faith does not look like another’s.
Everyone’s path is different. You are in your own unique and beautiful lane, stay there and grow there. (Notice I say beautiful… I believe the most amazing thing in life is knowing God! Whether we have difficult periods, challenging or smooth ones, I call them all beautiful because he is there with us). God is fully aware and focused on you and will not miss a day in attending to you. Even if you have been walking with him for a long time. Look at where you are right now but be ecstatic about where he will take you over time. One of the beauties of a relationship with God is that sometimes we never know what to expect or what might happen next. And though sometimes this can be scary, it can also be mindblowing because HE IS GOOD! He does not think the way we do. We could be thinking we aren’t enough or doing enough and yet he sees us as his most precious creation and being right where he needs us to be. God is always working in, on, and through us, in the simplest ways we may overlook.
Don’t sweat where you are, love, and enjoy your slow process. God is the one leading us and taking us where we need to be and he will put a knowing in our spirits when the time is right. We only need to listen within.
I’ve experienced burnout out so many times because I thought for God. That maybe he wants me to do this or that and when things flopped I felt disappointed and drained or wondered if I misheard him. But, I believe God wants constant communication, dependency on him, faith and trust in him, and here’s the big one… patience. Patience with him and especially with ourselves. I honestly have to constantly remind myself of this. Even if and when we mess up, I believe he simply wants these. Don’t allow others or your own mind to rush your growth. God was the one who called you to himself, he needed no help. Allow him to navigate your relationship with him, love.
Phil 2:13 “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”
Zech 4:1 “… not by might nor by power but by my spirit, says the Lord Almighty…”