Walking Out This Beautiful Journey Of Life

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I’ve been so hard on myself trying to, and making sure I acknowledge and live my perfect imperfect version of a long full life, that I didn’t realize I had started living it! It’s a life where I wake up daily feeling complete/ whole knowing who I am and being deep in love with my God! I can slow down, smell the roses and everything else the wind blows my way. I laugh out loud at jokes or watching comedies and take deep breaths without feeling the knot in my stomach or chest area. I sit in silence reflecting on my childhood, the person my experiences shaped me in becoming or just listening to my inner wisdom speak incredible truths to me. I’d brainstorm making sure I always think positive, speak positive, be obedient to God’s word and sensitive to his voice and nudges, pressuring myself that I didn’t acknowledge the fact that I had sincerely devoted my life to him and if he tells me to let go, to be still, to step out, to speak, to write I was already doing so, it was just not “perfect” to my flesh! I will never be enough to FLESH! I grew to realize that being human, I will have negative thoughts cross my mind but as long as I do not feed it, I’m alright. I sit in nature and let the sweet chirping of birds serenade me or the rushing sounds of water, the soothing melody of the rain capturing the light ray in every drop. I let the wind dance on my skin while I relax unbothered.

Living a long full life does not mean I won’t have any problems but I have the greatest hands to hold, holding me tightly in return and that gives my soul perfect rest! I vent to him. He sees all that I do, wherever I go and reminds me of who he calls me to be.   

I’m very open to constructive criticism then run with the good and put it to use BUT I’m not bound by the expectations of others, neither do I seek their approval. There are days, sometimes weeks where I’m lost, standing in a dark hole filled with confusion, chaos from outside voices, days I fight (pray and speaking life and God’s promises over myself) and days I just lay there with no desire to open my mouth but even those days are beautiful because my Savior never leaves me there! I love to blog/ write, It’s my passion and an outlet to express myself, share my testimonies and to encourage others- I had started living my dream but missed out because I was chasing an idea of what I thought a long full life looks like. There are so much more I’m aiming for, I’m not fully where I want to be but I’m content with where I am and in excitement I look forward to what’s coming my way.

And so I’ve  learnt overall that it is indeed, in the soft whisper I’ll find him, joy, peace, fulfillment and enjoy my version of a long full life, not (only) in the raging windstorm, the scorching fire or the loud earthquake. ( 1 Kings 19: 11-12) 

What about you? Are you busy chasing an idea of something, a perfect life, a perfect relationship, that “perfect walk” with God that you aren’t acknowledging where you are right now, slowing down and living in the moment, appreciating yourself and the people in your life that is sincere? What has clouded your mind from seeing that you too are indeed enjoying life and doing what you love?

Published by Stephanie

Hello, my name is Stephanie! It is my desire for souls to know Jesus personally; To be freed, uplifted, affirmed, and healed through our Savior. Know that you are loved so much! You have so much worth! You ’belong’ even if the world rejects and sees you as nothing! Despite what people around you, or even what your thoughts say about who you are, Jesus's truth is all that matters, and you are precious to him! Here is a bit of my story! I've been oppressed and ’held captive’ in my own mind for many years! I've struggled with depression for over 10 years. I had low self-esteem, not knowing my own worth. I chased after love, affirmation, attention, and a need to feel wanted- in relationships, to finding fulfillment in things. I didn't know how to love myself or how to receive love! I was sad most of the time to the point where I contemplated suicide twice. Deep inside, I felt a little girl full of joy, harmony, and peace who wanted freedom, and to live a fulfilled life; she was trapped inside. In late 2014 Jesus literally called out to me... and told me I would be okay. I committed my life to him in 2016. Since then, so much has happened! I've been finding shelter under his wings, and my mind is continually being renewed by his truth spoken to and about me. I have found and is still amazed by his perfect, unconditional love for me that follows me daily. I have found a secured relationship that attends to every area of my life. My journey started out rough, but it is BEAUTIFUL! It gets rocky and uncomfortable at times, but it is one filled with lessons, wonder, and crazy peace! It's apart of our walk. I am still healing (I view it as a life long process) some days I take a step forward only to take two backward but I now know to not depend on my strength even during healing as I am never alone. There are also many that I am unlearning and detoxing from my spirit that I grew up learning about. I have opened myself to allowing God to use me as I am, as an outlet to reach his precious ones. The purpose of my blog is to encourage a sincere and intentional relationship with Jesus! To help strengthen our faith and walk in him. To heal, uplift, and remind women of who God says we are. To walk in his identity- in hopes that you will know without a doubt that you matter much more than you can understand! I openly share my testimonies and personal experiences. I mean, it's a bit easier to speak and share from experiences. I firmly believe you will be blessed! Find yourself, find your path, and embark on this beautiful journey of life resting in God. Love, it's perfectly okay to be authentic- about where you are in every area of your life- in a world that forces us to mask our emotions and ’put the best forward, so people can ”see and think” we’ve got it all together.’ It's okay to NOT have it all together. Be true to yourself; this is an important step in being completely honest with our Lord.

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