I’ll Wait…

I know you’re coming so I start to wait… I know I’ll receive whatever you promised so I’ll wait. You promised to do a specific thing for me and so I wait… I start off strong , optimistic I start making plans about what we are gonna do, how things will be, how you’ll minister to me, comfort me, provide for me, help me to endure. I think about intimate moments of worship, reading your word and how it’ll melt my heart, thinking about you until I fall asleep, dreaming of walking hand in hand into the unknown, into deepest places where radical faith is the only thing that will be beneath my feet. And when I wake in the morning you will already be there, sitting at my bedside smiling as I pry my eyes open.

I meditate enthusiastically on how this wait will build my trust in you, faith in you. I will be content. I will get to see you move mountains, watch you blow my mind, get me even more excited. You will repair whatever gets broken along the way. When it gets tedious you’ll give me supernatural strength, you’ll hold my hand and walk with me… hey, I’ll get to see the set of footprints the songwriter writes about. I’ll wait Jesus! I say. I’ll wait on you. I love you so much, so I’ll wait on you. No matter the storm, I’ll wait on you. No matter how discouraged I get I’ll wait on you. No matter the distractions, the naysayers, the dream killers, the miracle blockers… oh yes, they will try, but I believe that no weapon formed against me shall prosper.

During the wait, you’ll give me assignments to carry out… you’ll rebuild and restore me, you’ll teach me to love myself and my neighbors, you’ll give me the desire to do what makes my soul restful. You’ll lead me to carry out the plans you have for me.

But it’s been some long, weeks, months, years, decades and I still haven’t seen what you promised, some, of what you promised… I still haven’t seen! I’m getting tired Jesus. I know you’re still here, I know you’re cheering me on, I know I’ll pass these tests, I know I can endure, I know I will see the completion of what you’ve started… it’s already done in the spirit waiting to be manifested in the natural. You gave Elijah food when he laid down to rest, so if I gotta rest too I know you’ll tend to me. When my legs give out from standing too long, I’ll fall to my knees and when I’m tired of kneeling, I’ll lay down. But whatever it takes, I’ll wait on you this time.

So here’s what I have and I’m learning about the wait… the most beautiful thing is that I get to depend completely on Jesus, self-dependence is thrown out. I’m challenged and stretched out of my comfort zone, lovingly being lead to trust in one who will never fail me, who has my best interest at heart, who refreshes me, revives me when I get worn out and encourages me to keep going.
I truly believe it depends on our perspective of how we choose to view the wait. Complain all the way or rest and find the fun in it walking day by day with the one who has already directed our steps.

Published by Stephanie

Hello, my name is Stephanie! It is my desire for souls to know Jesus personally; To be freed, uplifted, affirmed, and healed through our Savior. Know that you are loved so much! You have so much worth! You ’belong’ even if the world rejects and sees you as nothing! Despite what people around you, or even what your thoughts say about who you are, Jesus's truth is all that matters, and you are precious to him! Here is a bit of my story! I've been oppressed and ’held captive’ in my own mind for many years! I've struggled with depression for over 10 years. I had low self-esteem, not knowing my own worth. I chased after love, affirmation, attention, and a need to feel wanted- in relationships, to finding fulfillment in things. I didn't know how to love myself or how to receive love! I was sad most of the time to the point where I contemplated suicide twice. Deep inside, I felt a little girl full of joy, harmony, and peace who wanted freedom, and to live a fulfilled life; she was trapped inside. In late 2014 Jesus literally called out to me... and told me I would be okay. I committed my life to him in 2016. Since then, so much has happened! I've been finding shelter under his wings, and my mind is continually being renewed by his truth spoken to and about me. I have found and is still amazed by his perfect, unconditional love for me that follows me daily. I have found a secured relationship that attends to every area of my life. My journey started out rough, but it is BEAUTIFUL! It gets rocky and uncomfortable at times, but it is one filled with lessons, wonder, and crazy peace! It's apart of our walk. I am still healing (I view it as a life long process) some days I take a step forward only to take two backward but I now know to not depend on my strength even during healing as I am never alone. There are also many that I am unlearning and detoxing from my spirit that I grew up learning about. I have opened myself to allowing God to use me as I am, as an outlet to reach his precious ones. The purpose of my blog is to encourage a sincere and intentional relationship with Jesus! To help strengthen our faith and walk in him. To heal, uplift, and remind women of who God says we are. To walk in his identity- in hopes that you will know without a doubt that you matter much more than you can understand! I openly share my testimonies and personal experiences. I mean, it's a bit easier to speak and share from experiences. I firmly believe you will be blessed! Find yourself, find your path, and embark on this beautiful journey of life resting in God. Love, it's perfectly okay to be authentic- about where you are in every area of your life- in a world that forces us to mask our emotions and ’put the best forward, so people can ”see and think” we’ve got it all together.’ It's okay to NOT have it all together. Be true to yourself; this is an important step in being completely honest with our Lord.

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